At the Amherst Writers Retreat on a Greek Island, the prompt was: I am living…this is what I continued..
I am living the dream. The dream answers Freud’s question-“What do women want?” Hey Siggy, simple, a woman wants sovereignty over her own life-you dummkoph- I know that’s not a polite Germanic term, but it’s a lot better than some English descriptions I can think of.
When a woman has control over her own life, she gives her best. In a marriage, partnership is the operative word. I have been married 58 years to a gentle man. Never the less, I have had to train him as I matured. As in, “Yes, I know you wouldn’t do that, but big news, I am not you.” It’s a terrible shock. By now he’s getting used to it. Still a bit confused at times, but not totally bewildered.
I missed my oldest grandson’s college graduation to go to Greece and the Amherst Writing Retreat. His mother wasn’t happy with me. I understand. He, the wiser, said, “Ah Bubbles, go to Greece. I would.” I’m sorry I missed his graduation, but choices are sometimes not easy. The problem is I have more past than future. I have pretty much given that past to my family and what they needed, but the future is before me as they say. Little by little I am making decisions for me. If not now, when?
I think pursuing my dreams will reverberate through my family. My grand children will see that I continue to grow and I am the sovereign of my life. I am taking the scepter a bit late, but then, if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
I did make Ryan’s graduation from Cornell Medical School this past May. It was a fabulous five days in New York City. The graduation was held in Carnegie Hall. As you might imagine it was the best.I told him he can say he has appeared on the stage in Carnegie Hall.
He also received an award for the best grades for all four years. After the ceremony, he put his arms around “Big D,” his grand father, and I, and whispered, “Thanks for the brains.” He did all the work, but what a wonderful loving tribute, even if it’s a stretch of the truth.